Friday follies: Live from the brake shop

This blog post comes to you from a Midas brake shop in Fontana, CA, where I’m waiting for someone to take a look at the squealing brakes on Bridget, my adorable family car (she’s a Honda Fit, so really her whole name is Bridget Fonda the Honda — all of our cars have had names, and all the Hondas have been named after members of the Fonda family).

I’m sitting in a fairly comfy chair, I’ve plugged in my laptop, and there’s actually a decent wireless connection. I’ve worked in worse places, so I’m pretty happy at the moment.

Normally I’d be reading a book at a time like this, but the internet connection at my house isn’t working, so I’m grabbing all the online time I can.

See, we had a super-apocalyptic version of one of our normal fall Santa Ana windstorms on Wednesday night, and at 4:30am the power went out for thousands of people in our area. After a 15-hour outage, power blinked back on at about 7:30pm on Thursday. Hallelujah! We could cook! Bathe in hot water! Watch television!

I secretly was hoping we’d have to have a completely candlelit evening, though. I love candles.

Except that the router wasn’t picking up an internet connection. So after trying the various reset-restart-reboot operations, and spending 45 minutes on the phone with Verizon tech support, I learned that we’d need a new router. Which Verizon was happy to ship to us at no charge.

So I’m without internet until Monday.

(I did try to arrange to pick up a new router from a local Verizon store, but that turned into a scavenger hunt game of chase-down-the-right-phone-number and then take-a-number-and-wait-in-line-in-the-store-where-they’re showing-Secretariat-on-TV (I haven’t seen the movie yet! Spoiler alert: HE WON THE TRIPLE CROWN!! Then I got to see what I think was the first 10 minutes of the Karate Kid remake, featuring Jackie Chan eating noodles with chopsticks) and then leave-before-my-number-got-called-because-I-can’t-miss-my-brake-appointment…)

This is an interesting situation.

I had to reschedule a client call, and of course all my client work is being delayed, because working on live websites requires being connected to the internet.

There is non-online work I can be doing, of course — planning, writing, filing, organizing, etc. But the actual work, the part where I run backups and install plugins and publish blog posts and tweak sales pages? Can’t be done without an internet connection.

So it is fascinating to notice that part of my reaction is logical and sensible because the majority of what I do requires being online. And that another part is the jittery, twitchy, impending delirium tremens of internet withdrawal.

Of course I never considered myself addicted until I couldn’t get my fix.

And then it was a surprisingly short time until I caught myself thinking ridiculous nonsensical things like I can’t learn anything! and then doing weird things like booting up my laptop in the brake shop. Kinda like your alcoholic uncle rifling through the fridge and downing a jar of maraschino cherries with a chaser of vanilla extract.

This “unplugging” thing people talk of? I don’t really do it. I work at home and my computer is always on, always connected.

That advice to batch email checking and only do it once or twice a day? Never thought it applied to me.

I never thought I suffered from Internet hangovers because I’m never offline long enough to get the shakes.

So this weekend will be an interesting experiment.

Remaining conscious and noticing what’s going on will be key.

I don’t know how I’ll feel about it — I’ll have to experience it first. Right now I’m OK, but of course I’m still online, and that’s about to change.

Have you ever tried an experiment with batching email, limiting internet access, or intentionally unplugging? How did it go for you? What did you notice? I’d love to hear about it in the comments (but I may not reply until Monday!!).

I could get used to this

A good piece of business advice, that I’ve heard from several places and I can’t remember which was first, is to start hanging out with people at the level you want to reach. So instead of just frequenting the new-to-business forums and meetups and clubs, start reading and emailing the people you admire and want to emulate.

I’ve found this to be enormously helpful. I’ve also made good friends this way. And I recently had a real-life metaphorical experience that backs it up…in a backwards kind of way. Well, maybe. Bear with me while I tell a little story…

Necessity is the mother of experimentation

I needed a pickup truck.

Just for a day or two. See, one of the 4,032 things on my list of stuff to do before I head off to SOBCon was to pick up some furniture my brother was getting rid of. His old couch is going into my office, and his old loveseat is going into Genius Daughter’s room.

This furniture influx also required a corresponding outflux: We gave away our old couch, a dresser, and a rocking chair to a friend who’d recently moved into the area from across the country. Everybody wins!

So I called up my local car-rental place and reserved myself a Dodge Ram 1500.

The rigidity of self-description

To understand how ludicrous this seemed to me at first, you have to consider that I am really not a pickup-truck kind of person. In fact, I am annoyingly smug about my small, nimble, fuel-efficient, low-emission Honda Fit (her name is Bridget. As in Bridget Fonda the Honda. Ask nicely and I’ll tell you about my previous cars’ names…). It costs me about $30 to fill her tank, she can fit into squeezy parking spaces, and I don’t really care where she was made as long as she’s safe and reliable. Which she certainly has been so far.

So this beast of a truck is the opposite of my regular car in many ways. I didn’t go so far as to name him, as we were only acquainted for 48 hours, but he was definitely male. Climbing up into the driver’s seat was like scaling a ladder. He felt like he was twice as long as my little Bridget, and he was quite a bit wider as well (there was room for an entire pizza box on the seat between the driver and passenger! Astonishing!).

I was actually a bit concerned about driving something so large — would I underestimate my size and end up smashing into things? Would I be able to parallel park? What if I made some novice-pickup-driver error and, I don’t know, killed someone??

But I had to scramble up into that sky-high driver’s seat in order to get the furniture delivered. So, after adjusting the mirrors, reminding myself not to grope for the clutch whenever I slowed down (because this was an automatic transmission and I’m used to my stick-shift), and making sure I didn’t accidentally turn on the windshield wipers whenever I wanted to flick the turn signal, I shifted into D and we were off, my rental Dodge and I.

And you know what? I was fine.

I mean, at some level, driving is driving. And although I quintuple-checked before changing lanes, and I proceeded pretty gingerly when edging into a parking space or backing up, my supposedly non-pickup-person self managed to drive around in one for two days without any problems whatsoever.

A hatchback blog trying on a pickup-sized business

So naturally I was blown away by the metaphor I was living.

Here I was, actually enjoying being at the wheel of a behemoth I’d probably never consider buying (my 5-year-old son asked, with wide eyes, “Mom, is this a monster truck?” and wanted to ride with me all weekend). This was a vehicle that would not even fit into my garage.

Here I was, eye-to-eye with all the SUV- and pickup-driving environment-destroyers I’d previously zipped around in my earth-friendly hatchback. I was having fun looking down on all the little cars from my my gas-guzzling Ram.

I could get used to this, I thought.

This new perspective. This power. This having-room-to-carry-almost-anything. Yep, I could see myself someday owning, maybe not this particular truck, but maybe a midsized, good-safety-rating SUV. Huh. How about that.

And I thought, is my business acting like a low-horsepower hatchback when it wants to be a monster truck? Or even the reverse — what if my blog is trying to be a Hummer when really it’s got the heart of a Smart Car?

What if I tried something new on for awhile, like renting a car that you’re considering buying? What if I hung out with the pickup-driving crowd for a bit, or got friendly with my local Smart Car dealer, just to see what it was like?

What if?