So I asked my 7-year-old daughter (previously featured in this post for her genius problem-solving ability) what she did in school today. Along with her science project, math, reading, and recess, she said she did something called “disguised learning.” It went something like this, and I swear I didn’t make any of this up:
Me: What’s disguised learning?
Genius Daughter: It’s when we’re doing something that we think is fun but we’re really learning something.
Me: Like what?
GD: Like building with k’nex. Kids think they’re playing but they’re also learning about building geomectrical forms, and shapes, and how to connect things, and science stuff.
Me: Oh. So what’s the difference between disguised learning and regular learning?
GD: Well, some kids think disguised learning is, you know, funner.
Me: But doesn’t it kind of defeat the purpose of disguised learning to call it disguised learning? I mean, if you know you’re supposed to be learning, it’s not really disguised, is it?
GD: Well, it’s still funner.
Disguised learning. What a hoot. The things they’re teaching kids these days (and my internal grammarian is sniping, they can’t teach her to say more fun?). I had to laugh.
And then I cried. You know why? Because I’ve just been through about two months of “disguised learning” in my personal life, and let me tell you, it’s not funner.
Even though I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve thought (or heard from friends, or read in a supportive email) that this is actually a learning experience and a growth opportunity. Yeah, I know that, in my head. Which seems to be functioning reasonably well. My heart, not so much.
Let’s see, how to segue to a business lesson in a non-cheesy way? I don’t know. So I hope you like cheese.
So here’s the part that’s related to business:
All of it.
Because for a sole proprietor (or solopreneur, or work-at-home mom, or any of several other names for a one-person business), our lives and our businesses just aren’t separable. Some people are better at compartmentalizing than others, of course. I’m not one of them. It’s all connected, baby.
That’s what the metaphor of the small business tree is all about. Your unique tree is an organic, living thing that grows and changes. And it grows from roots that are inextricable from your personal life, family, friends, and all the rest.
I mentioned in my roots post that my children are some of my most important roots, for example. I have a strong desire to integrate my business and family life so that I am not absent from their lives while I am working. And I want them to remember, when they grow up, that they had a mom who didn’t have an ordinary job — she created an extraordinary business and had fun with it. That’s my hope, and that hope is a strong root of my business tree (even though it’s a root that points at the future).
I have lots of other roots, of course. My business partner, my office, my sexy black MacBook, my idea of who my Right People are, my genuine joy when I help someone to become empowered with technology. All that and more. Much, much more.
But sometimes a root gets chopped off. Something that was a strong sustaining force changes, or disappears. This happens all the time, in small ways. Clients come and go, or the economy takes a hit, or your computer crashes and your hard drive is hosed. Bigger things might be a loved one losing a job, or dying, or getting in a car accident. You get the idea.
When a big, important root is lost suddenly, it feels like the tree is unbalanced, about to topple. How can my tree possibly survive without this root? This is the question that has come up for me, personally, recently. And since we all know by now that business and life are the same thing, what I’m really asking is How can I possibly survive without this root?
Which leads to the next question: Who am I without it?
And I remembered a recent post from Havi in which she mentioned “the deep, complicated, loving, challenging relationship that I have with myself. And the commitments I make to myself to keep getting better at learning how to give myself love, and stuff like that.”
That sentence took my breath away. Because she is talking about discovering and then consciously nurturing her own roots. And she said it in a way that I could hear. And it clicked for me, even though I’ve said in past posts that you can choose to grow the roots you want. I couldn’t hear my own advice until it came to me in different words.
So I get to grow new roots, consciously. I get to decide who I am, and by extension what I want my business to look like. And yes, that’s complicated and challenging, but it’s also deep and loving. And learning how to give myself love is a root that no one can ever chop out from under me.
A chopped-out root can’t just be replaced. The tree will always bear a scar. But healthy trees can survive a lot. I recently visited a redwood grove and saw 300-foot-tall trees that were nearly 2,000 years old. Several of them were completely hollowed out at the base (I assumed by fire). You could literally walk inside these trees and be in a living cave. And they were still growing! Inspiring isn’t even the word. Hmm. There’s probably another whole post about redwoods in there somewhere. But that’s for another day. For now, I’m going to honor my commitment to self-care by getting some sleep, and looking forward to tomorrow.
How about you? What are your roots? What can you do to consciously nourish them today, right now?
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Posted by Wendy Cholbi, your friendly neighborhood swim-goggle-wearing technology-to-English translator
Wendy, I like the concept of the roots of a company and the roots of a person. I think that can be applied to the roots of a city as well. I wrote about this in the growth I have seen in Los Angeles over the past year derived from its two major roots of entertainment and tech industries.
http://itsdifferent4girls.com/blog/2009/02/06/tech-entertainment-intersection-sparkles-in-la/
Even more poignant when you realize that those redwood trees have fairly shallow roots . . . it’s by wrapping their roots in the roots of the surrounding redwood trees that they are able to withstand stress and continue to grow. Keep up the good work!